Hopes for my Son

A few weeks ago, I low-key announced here that I was having a boy. Maxon Robert Mey, due June 13th.

I know nothing about boys. I grew up in a house with my mom, dad and sister. My cousins were much older than me and I wasn’t around their kids. I owned dozens of Barbie dolls, my favorite board game was Pretty, Pretty Princess and I wanted to BE Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

So when the ultrasound tech found the right spot and I knew, for the first time, I was having a boy… I already knew I was going to be out of my comfort zone. I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, and around 6 weeks, I started to tell people that I thought it was a boy. My guess never wavered, if only slightly on the drive to the ultrasound. I’d like to think it’s mother’s intuition but it’s probably dumb luck.

I am really, really excited to be a boy mom. Even if I know nothing about cars. Even if soccer bores the crap out of me. Even if I get all of the Marvel super hero plots confused. My first time being around little boys was when I met Mike and our nephews, and as far as boys go, they are the best. They think their mom hung the stars, they call me beautiful, they are sensitive and yet like tiny bulls in a tiny China shop. They are more rough than I am used to and can somehow make a story out of a couple of matchbox cars and some legos. I ave loved watching them learn, and they’ve taught me a lot in return. I feel honored and privileged to be blessed with a little boy of my own.

At Max’s shower, we had guests fill out their wishes for him. It was a fun activity and I recommend doing it at your own shower. Most of the answers were heartfelt, some were downright hilarious. And they inspired me to make a list of my own wishes for Max. Saturday makes a month until his due date, and I haven’t spent a lot of time capturing what I’m feeling during this time… beyond the nausea and pain. I think keeping this list here will be a nice reminder of this time. A nice reminder of that moment before my life changes forever.

Here are my wishes for Max:

  • I hope you love your dad’s jokes. He mastered the dad joke long before you came along.
  • I hope you’re more of a dog person than a cat person. We’ll probably never get a cat.
  • I hope you have the chance to be a big brother one day, and that you enjoy teaching your little siblings about the world.
  • I hope you love to read.
  • I hope you find friends that you’ll take with you through your whole life.
  • I hope that you are kind to everyone you meet, even if your kindness isn’t returned. (It’s always better to be the one spreading love rather than hate.)
  • I hope you never start a relationship where you have the same Facebook account.
  • I hope you love hockey and rooting for the Pens.
  • I hope you love foods from many different cultures. Life is too short for chicken nuggets every day.
  • I hope you get the opportunity to travel.
  • I hope you don’t get my anxiety, but if you do, I hope you swallow your pride and always allow people to help.
  • I hope you get your dad’s freckles.
  • And my green eyes!
  • I hope you never think socks with sandals are acceptable.
  • I hope you don’t gridlock in traffic. No one likes a grid-locker.
  • I hope you volunteer. It feels good to do good.
  • I hope you stick with things even though you don’t get them at first.
  • I hope you see failures as opportunities to improve.
  • I hope you treat everyone with respect. Not just elders. Not just women. Everyone.
  • I hope you find love that makes you a better you.
  • I hope you quickly master grammar basics. And NEVER say, “I seen…”
  • I hope you are honest and fair.
  • Even when playing Monopoly.
  • I hope you respect others’ opinions on religion and politics. I also hope you don’t try to change their view or let them change yours.
  • I hope you think Freddie Mercury is the greatest male vocalist of all time, because he is.
  • I hope you always let us know where you are and what you are up to so that I don’t have to give you a curfew. I never had a curfew. Don’t be a punk.
  • I hope you have the courage to get out of bad situations before they get worse. Anything from a bad job, a bad relationship or a bad habit.
  • I hope you have the confidence to stand up for yourself when the situation calls for it.
  • I hope you make learning a lifelong passion.
  • I hope you treat you own body and the bodies of others with respect and care.
  • I hope you find one of those elusive jobs that don’t feel like work.
  • I hope you know that every job is important.
  • I hope you’re not power-hungry, but that you don’t want for much.
  • I hope you see that building a life is so much more than building a career.
  • I hope that when someone doesn’t appreciate you enough, you find someone who does.
  • I hope you read “The Alchemist” and get something from it.
  • I hope you are easy-ish to potty train.
  • I hope you aren’t someone who posts fake news stories online. You should be born with journalistic integrity (and also you’ll sunburn easily.)
  • I hope you have a healthy relationship with food. So many people think just women have issues with body image, and I know that’s not true.
  • I hope you meditate. It’s good for the body and soul.
  • I hope you enjoy doing little acts of kindness. 
  • I hope you pick your battles in life.
  • I hope you are someone people come to for help.
  • I hope you are creative enough to see a door where others see a wall.
  • I hope you draw me lots of pictures.
  • I hope you’ll smile in family photos.
  • I hope you play in lots of mud puddles. They are healthy for you.
  • So is being brought down to earth when your ego gets a little too out of control.
  • I hope you are able to take all of your sad moments and learn lessons from them. Sometimes what seems like the worst moment of your life can just be a pivot in the right direction.
  • I hope that you feel entitled to nothing and grateful for everything.
  • I hope you let karma do its work when you are wronged. (It’s always worked in my favor.)
  • I hope you find a sense of style but that it doesn’t involve skinny jeans.
  • I hope you’re punctual. Tardiness is rude.
  • I hope that for some period of time, you live alone. Not with friends, not with a girl, not with us. Just you.
  • I hope you vote, but I hope you educate yourself first.
  • I hope you count your cousins as friends. Cherish the chance to grow up with them.
  • I hope you always put your cart back at the grocery store. Failing to do so is pure laziness.
  • I hope you smile at strangers. Even the grumpy looking ones or the ones wearing Philadelphia gear.
  • I hope you appreciate beauty. I’ve seen church ceilings in Italy that took a lifetime for someone to carve. 
  • I hope that you recognize the talent that Billy Joel has.
  • I hope you watch Forrest Gump 10,000 times and still notice something new each time.
  • I hope you know how loved and wanted you are.

– Mom

More of my favorite life advice:

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